Small doses daily...

someshadeof_red @ 2006-03-07T21:16:00

2006-03-08T05:33:54Z

Never again am I to hook up with good friends, for now at least. It all ends in bad news and being ignored. I am even ignored online. I sign on, they sign off. Kind of amusing actually.
On a good note, I'm interested in other people!

someshadeof_red @ 2006-02-23T16:58:00

2006-02-24T00:59:11Z

Why am I so retarded and confusing?! What is up with me? Fffffuuucccck.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-02-12T21:16:00

2006-02-13T05:20:00Z

Yesterday consisted of:

-ALOT of alcohol
-school
-naked people
-an emotional breakdown
-chased by the cops
-being driven home in a trunk.

I don't even remember half of it. All that came out of last night is realizing that I'm a retarded drunk and I need to start taking care of my body.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-02-08T18:55:00

2006-02-09T03:03:00Z

I decided that I really like my therapist.
I told her about all the drugs I've done annnnnd she also thinks it's a good idea that I move out! She's also amazed at how stable I am considering how fucked up my family is. I've never met an adult who is so understanding. I like it.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-02-02T22:11:00

2006-02-03T06:14:03Z

We should have two periods every day. I like this.

The past few days have been:
-getting lunch after school.
-smoking
-eating more
-not studying for finals.

This weekend should be pretty good.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-02-01T23:13:00

2006-02-02T07:14:25Z

It's annoying when I'm already procrastinating and my parents come in to lecture me on procrastination which takes up MORE OF MY TIME.
That is all.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-01-30T21:49:00

2006-01-31T05:55:09Z

stress stress stresssss
I am sooooo screwed in both my art classes. I'm supposed to be good at these subjects! Why am I lazy????
I want to drop Comercial Arts so badly, but I dont want an open 5th and I cant drop 6th. I already TA and I don't want to TA for two periods. independant study? someone help me.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-01-23T21:31:00

2006-01-24T05:32:29Z

I can't even lift a pitcher to pour a glass of water.
I think I need to start excersizing.

someshadeof_red @ 2006-01-02T16:19:00

2006-01-03T00:20:39Z

My immune system sucks.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-12-28T22:06:00

2005-12-29T06:15:37Z

Just got back from Nebraska. IT SUCKED BALLZ!! I never ever ever want to live there. ever. All they eat is pork, and I hate pork, and while they eat the pork, they talk about how they killed the pig. umm eww.

It's super cold, and everyone knows everything about everyone.

I've been sober for a week and a half now. That's the longest I've gone in...I can't even remember. I'll change that tomorrow.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-12-19T21:31:00

2005-12-20T05:32:12Z

My friends are totally FUCKED. I want to cry.

!!!!!!

2005-12-14T03:54:28Z

A HUGE weight has just been lifted off my shoulders.
Today has been very very good.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-12-05T22:19:00

2005-12-06T06:22:18Z

I was looking through my mother's Anatomical Chart Book (for an art project)and I came across the "Understanding HIV&AIDS" chart and the man in the picture is black. Is it bad that I find that amusing?

someshadeof_red @ 2005-12-04T16:38:00

2005-12-05T00:43:39Z

Last night was the first night I actually got away with having people over with my parents gone. It was kind of boring at first, but then we brought out the alcohol, the vaporizer, a few pills and we had some good times. Just the way to start of a good month!

someshadeof_red @ 2005-11-30T21:59:00

2005-12-01T06:00:18Z

I'm really annoyed with EVERYTHING for no good reason. whyyyy?
Because november sucks!!!!

someshadeof_red @ 2005-11-29T20:03:00

2005-11-30T04:05:09Z

"Nothing's really THAT big of a deal in life, unless you have a health problem."
- Mr. Brinkerhoff

Yeah, made my day.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-11-19T09:24:00

2005-11-19T17:31:13Z

Through all the shit my parents put me through, I still love my life.

Last night was:

-get high and see play.
-go to jon's, party, and get drunk.
-come home smashed and have good sleep.

Right now I'm trying to ignore being sick.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-11-15T22:13:00

2005-11-16T06:15:25Z

caffeine withdrawls are a bitch.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-11-09T15:38:00

2005-11-09T23:38:59Z

I really want to go to Utah =(

But yay for Bob1 this weekend =)

school needs to die!

2005-11-09T00:45:06Z

I have a ridiculous amount of homework and somthing is going to be sacraficed. There is no way I'm going to be able to finish it all.
Group projects suck also.

someshadeof_red @ 2005-10-29T16:54:00

2005-10-30T00:01:32Z

So last night was the costume party and I don't remember much. I really need to control how much I drink because it's real shitty not remembering a good time. The parts that I do remember were good times though.
There were so many people there but eventually the cops came because the girls in my grade are completely INSANE and want to kill eachother!

someshadeof_red @ 2005-10-27T20:46:00

2005-10-28T04:09:04Z

01. Last Cigarette: friday

02. Last Kiss: today

03. Last Cry: few days ago

04. Last Library Book Checked Out: i buy books, i should start going to libraries...

06. Last Book Read: slaughter house five

07. Last Cuss Word Uttered: shit

08. Last Beverage Drank: water with lemon

09. Last Food Consumed: burrito!

11. Last TV Show Watched: i havent watched tv in so long

12. Last Time Showered: an hour ago

13. Last Shoes Worn: silver sandals

14. Last Cd played: gorillaz - demon days

15. Last Soda Drank: coke duh

16. Last Thing Written: duh

17. Last Words Spoken: "yeah looks good"

18. Last Sleep: last night

21. Last Ice Cream Eaten: chocolate chip cookie dough

22. Last Time Wanting to Die: i dont want to die

26. Last Big Car Ride: whats considered a big car ride?

27. Last Crush: matt

28. Last Annoyance: senior cap and gown forms

30. Last Time Scolded Someone: yesterday when my sister annoyed me

32. Last Web Site Visited: myspace lol

N U M B E R O F . . .
01. piercings: 2
02. tattoos: none yet
03. height: 5'7"
04. shoe size: 8 or 9
05. hair color: blonde

D O ...
01. you have a crush on someone: yep
02. you wish you could live somewhere else: very much so
03. you think about suicide: no
04. you believe in online dating: no that's stupid
05. others find you attractive: depends on the person i guess
06. you want more piercings: yup
07. you drink: uhh who do you think i am? lol
08. you do drugs: uh yuh
09. you smoke: i guess
10. you like cleaning: shit, noooo!
11. you like roller coasters: of course
12. you write in cursive or print: printish-cursivish

F A V O R I T E....
drinks: coke
thing to do: eat
movies: im to lazy to list them all lol
holiday: christmas =)

H A V E Y O U . . .
ever lied to someone: yea
ever faked an orgasm: hahahaha
ever been arrested: almost

W H A T. . .
shampoo do you use: herbal essense
shoes do you wear: sandals, flats, converse
are you scared of: creepy crawlies and failure

N U M B E R . . .
.. of times you have been in love? i thought i was once
.. of times you have had your heart broken? semi-once
.. of hearts you have broken? none that i know of
.. of drugs taken illegally? 4?5?
.. of people you consider your enemies? none.
.. of things in your past that you regret? no regrets, although there are some thing im ashamed of

someshadeof_red @ 2005-10-21T19:23:00

2005-10-22T02:24:25Z

I reaaaaally hope Homecoming doesn't go wrong. I'm sure everything will be fine but still.....

someshadeof_red @ 2005-10-20T21:31:00

2005-10-21T04:34:54Z

I talked to my Dad last night about the whole diary thing. Of course he thinks that what he did was the "right thing to do" I don't really care what he thinks anymore. It feels nice.
I feel good.

Daft Punk makes me happy.

I've never felt so naked

2005-10-18T03:06:08Z

So my Dad was moving all my shit out of my room so the workers could tear down my walls, and he came across my journals. He read them that fucker. I've never felt so violated in my life. He gave them to my Mom and she told me she didn't read them. I think that's the most motherly thing she's ever done in my life. So my Dad knows basically everything about me and everything I've done. What the hell was he thinking? Did he actually think he would feel better if he read it? More powerful? I bet he just read them so he could have more power over me.

Somehow my mom and I got on the topic of her family, wow. One of her brothers became a pharmasist to learn how to make drugs and her other brother was heavily involved with drugs since before he was 16. My grandma, grandpa, and mom have all been alcoholics. I love them.

And I turn 17 tomarrow.